Tuesday, November 22, 2005
To all inno peeps! Big shout out! I miss you guys!! Are there any camps? Any outings? I'll go, I'll go! The long awaited holidays are finally here. But I'll be on holiday from 3-6 December. Wanna see you guys soon! Love all of you. The only people that can make me feel as if I'm at my second home anywhere as long as I'm with them. You guys rocks!
Toyota gang! Are you guys still around? My favourite group from Bedok View! My beloved Aunties! Where are you peeps? I miss you guys! My handsome ncc leader!! Where art thou? Leave me a tag if you ever see these! Aunty Hui Jia and Aunty Jung Yi! Hope I got your names right. I'll never forget you guys!
My Takashimaya from Regent Secondary! The group which sabotaged me! I miss you guys too! Fun-loving group especially with Jamues around as leader! Will always remember what you did!
Outram Park! The first group that I ever took. You guys sure are naughty but you guys were great! Actually won the best group! I miss dragonboating! Out-tram Park!!!!!
And to East Spring Sec and Pri, Yuhua Sec, Peicai Sec, Ahmad Ibrahim, DSA and Nan Hua Sec, thanks for crossing my life once!
[ I miss you.. ]
at 11:21 AM
It's a gloomy day as it's raining outside. A very good day to sleep in late but I can't as I'm thinking how should I go to school to hand up some form. Need to vacuum the floor soon. I'm really touched by my mum's gestures. She helped me in so many ways that I never asked for. Though she gets really naggy at times that totally put me off, deep down my heart, I know that she's the best mum in the whole wide world. I love you mummy. I love you too daddy. My one and only daddy that is willing to fetch me to places when I need him too, that encourages me when the world is turned against me. My little irritating sister, who takes my crumpler bag whem I wanna use. But she brightens up my life when she lets me disturb her. I love you too, little sis. My lovely maternal grandparents, the funkiest ones around. I love you guys. Six of us under one roof. Really swell.
Richard, I remember you! Don't worry. I love you too. Though you're forgetful, do not bother to listen to me, irritating but your strengths thumb dowm all your weaknesses. Treating me dinner and movies when you have your means to. Coming down all the way to my school and sending me all the way home when you're not obligated to. Tolerating my tantrums, packing my room, running with me, playing badminton with me, shopping with me and many more things. Thankd dear. It has been rocky these few days, I guess I was pms-ing. But it was nice yesterday, Just Like Heaven, the movie and Fish and Co for dinner. We haven't had quality time like that for a while. The movie was really heart-warming and the dinner was totally awesome especially the Sharkie Freeze. One big jug of passion fruit blend. We drank till we had brain freeze. That was fun!
I love Joyce too! One of my best pals that I still meet up often to shop, play games at Mind's cafe, dinner, chilling, gossiping and things girls do. She gave me Patrick! Still high over that.
And the best for the last. I love you God, my heavenly Father. For without you, I wouldn't have any of these. You're the ultimate giver of joy and love and many other virtues. I want to thank you for letting me have all these people in my life. Especially Aki. I know he's safe with you oh Lord. I miss him so much, Father. I think of him when I look up to the sky with all the angels surrounding him. Father, I also want to thank you for the most recent happenings, especially the chalet. It's evident that the youths have enjoyed themselves and so have I, though I could not be there for the earlier part of it. I want to pray for safety for my friends and I as we would be going away on a short trip. I pray that you would guide us along, side by side with your guiding hand that you will guide us back safely. I pray for the X'mas skit to go on smoothly and the youths to grow closer as a group. I want to thank you for all these and I trust all these into your hands. In Jesus name, Amen.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 10:33 AM
Thursday, November 17, 2005
A smile formed across her face as she saw what was given to her.
Thanks Joyce for Patrick starfish!! I like it so much! It's adorable! That's my favourite Spongebob character! Yay! I'm so thankful that someone still cares! Richard treated me movie and nachos! Yay to that too! Life is only sweet when I'm out of school!
Sticky date pudding soon! I can feel my saliva dripping. I miss the strawberry shortcake, scone, pasta and bruschetta! All from Cafe Beviamo. (Hope I got the spelling right.) Many more nice stuff there. Will be going down soon after contact time. Cannot wait as it means I can get out of the torturous place! The place that makes me burst into tears so easily that I think I cried more times here than any other place.
Time for some cheer-giving from Patrick!
[ I miss you.. ]
at 1:15 PM
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
It's another dreadful and long day today. This whole week has been a dread so far. I only smile when I manage to drag my feet down to Wheelock place. Why? Cause my darling and my bestie are working there! Do go down and visit them this week if you do not know what to do with your ipod and you want to get a nano or something newer! There's this small booth at apple centre that buys your old ipods and gives you voucher for you to buy new stuff in the apple shop! Good deal? So come on down!
I wanna work there too. I really dread going to school. I feel so lonely and I always find out things at the last minute that requires me to put off my other important plans. For example, youth chalet this weekend. Sorry dudes, I can't be there with you guys. I have to be in SCHOOL! This is so irritating! I hate it.
There's so many pent up frustration inside that I do not know how to release it. How am I going to type it all out here? I think I'll get vulgar and insult the school like nobody's business. But that isn't right at all so I'll just supress it inside, pray to God to help me and not blow up.
I really cannot wait for the school holidays. I want it really badly. As long as I'm not in this place, I'll be the happiest person. I'm like a piece of glass here. Transparent and blocking the way. I feel that it's so hard to make friends unlike the inno people. I really have the urge to quit and just go back to the outdoors. God, what is your plan for me?
The world is crumbling on me, Father. I can't take the weight on me anymore. Everyday, when I find out something, I feel like bursting into tears. It's so difficult. I'm trying so hard.. Well, maybe not but I do not know how to fit in at all such that I don't even feel like trying.
Let's talk about some happier stuff. The last day of school is in 2 days time! Yay! I can work at Wheelock soon! Maybe at inno too! Waiting for today to end so I can leave school, meet people that would put a smile on my face, get a dinner and movie treat hopefully? I caught Oliver Twist last night. Had a consession of $1. For teacher. I liked the show as it's based on a classic. My apologies to my company if you people thought it was boring. Just like heaven tonight? I can't wait.
iwantiwant.blogspot.com visit this website peeps! You can find many things there! From handmade earrings, clothes, shoes and many many more things! Check it out!
[ I miss you.. ]
at 7:50 AM
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Having some nasi lemak now with lotsa sambal chilli. Too bad there's no fried egg, only half a hard boiled egg. Thinking if I should get some bittergourd. Then I feel like having some noodles too. It's only food in my mind now. I feel like having BK too. I am a glutton. Food monster. At least, it's able to make me happy for a while before reality hits me again.
I hate to admit this, but I'm facing difficulties especially during PE. Ironic right? Since I'm going to take dip in PE. I take this as a trial from God and I know He will lead me out of it.
PTM is next week. It feels funny as I'm seeing parents now instead of my father insisting on seeing my teacher. Besides, my last PTM didn't seem so far away..
I still remembered I was the last student and all the teachers were gathered around me in a semi-circle. When I came in with my parents, the teachers only had one comment. That I was always sleeping in their class. Mr Sim was the best. He was the only one who kind of spoke up for me. He told my parents that I tried really hard to stay awake.
Been blogging more these days cause I do not have much to do and I'm always with my laptop in the staff room. Furthermore, seeing my friends blog consistently gave me some drive to blog. Keep ya updates and I'll keep mine! As if there are so many people reading my blog.
One night of loud music.
One night of hot babes.
One night of groovy moves.
One night of sexy shakes.
One night of disco lights.
One night of little alcohol.
One night of deprieved sleep.
One night of meeting new friends.
One night of destressing.
One night of fun.
That sums up my last night at Zouk. Haven't been there ever since it re-opened. I went cause Joyce was there and I was clubbing with her marketing friends. They are really nice people and they did not make me feel left out. Made me wish I was in SIM instead of here. I even got a lift home from Irene's boyfriend. That was so unexpected as I just knew her. Many thanks! It feels great to know that someone cares. Thanks once again!
[ I miss you.. ]
at 10:00 AM
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Here I am in my little corner far away from the rest of the world. It feels as if I'm transparent in this place. There's nothing for me to be happy about. The surroundings are oblivious to me cause I'm always not involved. Anything that is happening, I know nothing or only at the very last minute and I have to find out myself. I'm nothing in their eyes and I'm superhuman cause they are trained and I'm not, yet I still have to know what they know. Nobody offers help or comfort. All I have is myself. Life is not fair. Since when has it been fair?
I'm unhappy and the only thing I look forward to is when the last bell goes. The only thing that allows me to stay put is God and my future entry to NIE. If not for these, I'd have quit. I cannot take it. I have no friends in school. How to make friends when I get ignored and I don't know their topics to join in. I feel like an alien to this place.
God, please save me. It comforts me to know you're in my mist but can I ask for a little more? It's really hard to open my mouth to ask. Feels as if I'm disturbing them. I don't belong here yet I have to stay. Is this my only fate that I have to resign to?
[ I miss you.. ]
at 10:13 AM
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Two posts in a short period of time.
A thought just struck me. 2005 is coming to an end soon which means my birthday is drawing nearer. It seems as though the birthday testimonials that were left for me last year didn't seem so long ago.
Besides, I procastinated my recap of 2004 for so long that I just realised, I have not done it.
I'm such a lazy girl.
Let's see if I can remember anything about year 2004.
- The big As 'year'
- The year with CCA achievements. Basketball girls managed to clinched the 4th position for nationals.
- Ran for national cross-country.
- Played touch rugby.
- I was still with her.
- I was still doing stupid things. Wasting my life away.
- I did not study.
- She liked to make me cry over her silly.
- We broke up.
- Cause she told me she had a gf which was fake.
- I could not take the nonsense anymore.
- I had a new guy.
- We did not last.
- Back on track with my two lovely gfs. Joyce and Jas.
- It never felt so good. A renewed friendship. They accepted me back without any considerations.
- I was touched. Finally spent time together studying.
- We graduated and I received a plaque for my CCA distinction.
- Prelim was bad with grades like E F F.
- We clubbed on Joyce's birthday. I met a guy.
- We got quite close but things never worked out. I didn't have special feelings for him though I gave him a chance.
- I was a bitch to many.
- There was prom and it wasn't a very good one. Post prom party wasn't too bad. All of us looked good together. The 6 of us, 3 pairs though none worked out in the end.
- Wild Wild Wet was fun. The girls and the boys were never meant to be. But we 3 girls will always be united as one. Joyce, Jas and me.
- Then there was this really special person who liked me. A person in school whom I always wanted to know. He shared the same sentiments as me. We knew each other before the As started. But we were not meant to be. The timing was wrong. And once again, I was the bitch. I never told him I liked him though I always thought he was good looking. I did not want to lead him on yet I did not want to lose a friend. He is a really sweet guy. Any girl that gets him will be real lucky. I'm glad we're still friends.
- Richard came into my life once again. A person whom I never thought would be the one that I'd love. Due to our horrible start as friends.
- Chirstmas Eve dinner was horrible. I felt out of place at the dinner table. His attitude was most terrible.
- Thankfully, Richard came and eased the pain.
- The beginning of Christmas Eve was great at East Coast and it ended swell at Fort Canning.
- Christmas was simple and just fine.
- I went to St Matthew's on boxing day and that's when I knew I had to return my life to God. That's how I started to believe in Christ.
- My birthday was one mixed with an early celebration with my long time friends. They made me drink wine in the wee hours of my birthday and got me high till Ann Hui had to cycle me home. Poor thing. I must be so heavy. Lunch at Crystal Jade with my family and Richard. Dinner at Richard's house. He even packed my room for me. A simple birthday yet one that I treasure.
- The clock striked twelve and the year was over.
A short summary of my 2004. Didn't want to mention names cause it's all over. Just a recap for me to remember. If you can't accept, then just ignore and leave this page. It's a little late for 2004 I know, but I just had to do this. I'll be doing 2005 soon and it'd be great as God transformed my life. Wait for it for those who care!
A million-dollar smile for everyone out there.
Will post pics when I have nothing to do at home.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 3:00 AM
Been chasing the serial drama at 9pm for almost every weekday night. Rui En looks so adorable in the show. It's heart-wrenching when you see families in that show facing to all kinds of difficult problem everyday. Makes you feel as if you're so much more fortunate than them. I like the show and I'm waiting to catch the last episode today.
I've finally figured how to use Yahoo auctions. It's quite simple actually. I must be quite dumb when I thought it was difficult.
So many jumbled up thoughts in my head and I'm finding it hard to express it in words. It seems that the points that I have does not seem to connect and flow at all.
Oh yes! Suddenly realled this entertaining show that I watched on television. It's called Superstar Idol or something. I must applaude the contestants. They actually dare to humilate themselves on national TV! Wow. I do not think I'll ever have such courage to do that. It's more of a comedy rather than watching talented people cause most of them can't act at all. Not that I want to criticise on this fact, but they do not have a good dress sense nor a pleasant looking face. I believe to be an idol and to publicise yourself on national TV, one must at least have a decent looking face. Was discussing with Richard about these contestants and Richard noted one point which I found it hilarous.
Eve: "These contestants really dare to humilate themselves! Don't they know that they are on national TV?"
Rich: "They must have always been humilating themselves their whole life, so doing this do not make a big difference in their life!"
Ha ha ha ha ha!
I may not have quoted the exact words but I'm sure you all understand what my point is. They even begged the judges on stage! Where's their pride?
Guess that's enough. Too bad I won't be able to catch the following episodes cause I have to go for my drum lessons.
Went to Sentosa with the youth yesterday. Was reluctant to go at first cause there was no sun. In the end, I went cause Richard came my house to wait for me. I had marking to do. Thanks darling! The outing was fun and I managed to do some excercise so that beats staying at home snacking and growing fat. Yay! Thanks Jason for organising and the rest of you who did not mind us being late. :)
All the best for your exams Joyce babey! After that, we'll go partying and enjoy our sausages! Yum!
Hey Richie boy, I love you. Thanks for being there for me all the time. You really hype up my life. I love being with you cause I am who I am when I'm with you and it's even better when you're crazy with me! Hugs.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 1:50 AM
