Sunday, November 14, 2004
What I've learnt this morning is kinda linked to my thoughts last nights. What a coincidence. Perhaps, it is a sign. =)
[ I miss you.. ]
at 10:59 PM
The calm water is disturbed. The reflection is not clear. What I see in the water is just a distorted face. Wind, stop blowing on the water. Let it be peaceful again so that I can see my clear reflection. Read some horoscopes last night. Got a laugh out of it. I ain't telling you what I'm laughing at. It's oh so true that I cannot believe it. So evil. Nobody is perfect. No one can have it all. God is fair. I thank God for what he has given me.
Searching my heart to find the answers. I am certain that I will be able to achieve what I want as long as I don't fall prey to all the obstacles that's in my way. All these distractions should just be cast aside as they are fogs that are blocking my way. They are all peanuts. I am walking towards my gold. Goal. A clear mind with all my energy directed to my main aim. Focus is the word. I will not fail.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 12:37 AM
Friday, November 12, 2004
A cheerful disposition, a smile that dazzles.
Is that what she really is?
Is it just a facade?
A strong front she put up for everybody?
What is her interior then?
The same as her outlook or a total opposite.
Perhaps, it's time to dig into the core to find out.
Will you be there to help dig this bloody pit for her?
Chilli
There are many types of chilli. I love chilli but I won't say I like every type of chilli. I have to add chilli into most of my food or I'd find it tasteless. Sambal, sambal belachan, chilli padi, chilli, chilli sauce... etc. In particular, normal chilli tastes like vegetable to me. Chilli padi is my favourite. It adds flavouring to any food that I eat. Sambal too. However, I do not like sambal belachan or chilli sauce. Doesn't appeal to me much. I have no idea why am I writing about chilli. I guess I'm just too bored.
The As will be over soon. Waited 19 years of my life for this. This one exam determines my future. When it ends, my future is sealed. Maybe not exactly but still, it's a major turning point in my life. The final lap, here I come!
I still don't understand. There are some things I will never understand. Perhaps, I am afraid to even find out. People ask me not to think too much. They also tell me not to harp on it. I'm doing my best to listen to advice. It's because I don't want to hurt the people around me when I get into one of my stupid moods. Especially you. Thank you for tolerating. I appreciate it a lot.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 5:17 PM
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Artist - Simple Plan
Title - Welcome to my life
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like
To be hurtTo feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like, what it's like [x2]
Welcome to my life [x3]
[ I miss you.. ]
at 7:24 PM
Saturday, November 06, 2004
I love you, you love me.
We are one big family.
With a great big hug,
And a kiss from me to you.
Won't you say you love me too?
Sometimes, I think I'm outta your league. Entering it is like going into a forbidden zone. There may be boody traps lying around. Once I accidentally step on a land mine, my body will explode into pieces. Leaving only pieces of me that can never be joined together as a whole again. Everything I do never seems to be good enough for anyone. I am lost in this world. It looks like I've just opened Pandora's box before my As and suddenly I see insecurites, over-sensitiveness, paranoia and angst. It ain't good at all. It's eating away my sanity bit by bit, leaving a broken me.
Passions of flames engulfing their body as they let it rule over their mind and body. Their hearts beating as one. Eyes locked onto one another as they realised that they had landed into a bottomless pit together. The never-ending hellhole named "love".
[ I miss you.. ]
at 12:09 PM
