Tuesday, December 30, 2003
In every relationship, i guess there are many ups and downs. Things may not be what it seems either. Nobody will ever know your deepest thoughts, only yourself. Sometimes, pouring your heart out may be a good thing. On the other hand, you might know what you'd rather not know. Human nature is so complex, i will never understand.
For me, i yearned for my birthday as i will turn 18. Yet, i am dreading it now. Being 18 doesn't seem to appeal me anymore. So what, if you can get in to clubs legally, smoke and drink legally. I know it's not right, but even if ya ungerage, you can do it too just that it'd be illegal. I am dreading it because i am afraid to embrace the new year. After yest night, i am more afraid than ever. I shall not disclose what happened but it was just terrible. My heart shattered into a million pieces. I never felt so hurt. This relationship may not be a forever thing, but all i want is to keep it for as long as possible. It's the first time i really gave away my whole heart. Right now, i just dun wanna think too much, let nature takes its course and not expecting too much so that i won't be so hurt.
Feeling hurt in a relationship is a norm, there isn't such thing as a perfect relationship. If there is, the word "divorce" and "break-ups" would not have existed. Darling, i know i may not live up to ya expectations at times but i want you to know that i love you truly and i really hope that we can go a long way. Yup. That's my dream. My new year resolution would be for you to be happy always. To all couples out there and everyone else, i wanna tell you to treasure your loved ones. Dun let them slip away and regret it. Have a very happy new year. I love you en.
Think i've crapped enough up there. Shall update abt what i've done yest. Let's see. First, i met my dear at suntec then we ate and walked around. Waited for jiji, wen and a mysterious person. Well, me and en were in shocked when we saw that mysterious person! Muahahaha. Won't disclose that person cause i may not be allowed to. Hehe. Anyway, we walked around again before carol and krist came to meet us. Then, we WALKED AROUND again before carol and krist left for their concert. Didn't exactly wanna go chinablack but still went in the end. Funny in a sense that dear and the rest asked me to go and that dear shouldn't go because of some reason that i am so not allowed to know. Oh well, met up my old pals there. Went to find my darling after that. Had sorta a major "i dunno what" cause it doesn't seem like a quarrel but yet i cried like hell. Stayed until 6am then took a cab home.
Woke up at 10+am today. Won't be seeing my dear today. Miss en lots man. En going out with mummy and i have a birthday dinner with my family in the evening. Going jumbo at the country club for din. Hope everything will always turn out well for me esp this r/s. Guess that's my only birthday wish.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 1:57 PM
Sunday, December 28, 2003
Another 3 more days to my birthday!! heh heh. i'm gonne be 18. FINALLY. have been spending time with my dear this few days. heez. but sch gonna reopen soon, dread it man. gonna be back to the mundane lifestlye. bleahz.
i went shopping with joyce last tues!! thought i had money and i could shop till i drop but in the end i only bought a white shirt from mango. met my darling for dinner before meeting the rest to go down zouk. zouk sucks! haha. i dun like it there and the drinks are bloody expensive. just think it wasn't worth my $$. left zouk at 11+pm and walked around. nice ambience. then took a cab home. my darling sent me back first. heez.
anyway, on christmas eve i was out with my parents the whole day. went ikea to look for stuff for my sis room. had lunch at alexandra village then i had meatballs at ikea friends cafe. yum. bought many things there too. heez. went gardens for dinner then went home to finish the stuff that i made for my dear en. stayed over at her house. On Christmas day itself, she had to collect something from causeway then i bought logcake for her! then she gave me my christmas prezzie! it's absolutely gorgeous!! i love it so much! thanks darling!! you're brilliant, really impressive! muacks. what i made for ya seems to pale in comparison. haha. met my parents in the evening and went shopping!! i finally got what i desired! levis type 1 jeans, a levis tee, a three-quart, shorts, 2 spags.. heh. had dinner at some ramen place in far east then headed home.
i had to see a doctor today cause my leg that was bitten by the sandflies got really bad. then i was sick also. had a really bad throat, flu and slight fever. my dear came over to my house as she intended to accompany me to see a doc but unfortunately, the clinics at my place was closed. didn't want her to be late for her driving so we went to bbdc. went her house after that. then went to see a doc before i went home. felt quite sick. haha. duh.. hmmm.. stayed at home on da 27th until my darling came down to amk to accompany me to eat. after we ate, then slacked there. we walked to gardens from amk and we went to serangoon gardens country club to look see.. haha. first time i go there as a member without my parents. she walked me home then she went home..
today slacked at home but going to her house soon.. gonna bring kimchi over. yummy.. heez. well, so off i go! tata!!
i just added in photos!! go to [[My photos]] to check it out!!
[ I miss you.. ]
at 4:52 PM
Monday, December 22, 2003
hello peeps, i'm home!! heez. back on da 19th. i had a really wonderful trip. it's truly an eye-opener for me. i lived in kampong semadang for the 2 weeks that i'm in kuching. starting of the trip, i felt that i didn't belong there at all. i yearned to go back home the whole time. but as the days go by, i really didn't want to leave. life is peaceful there and i am mesmerised by the beauty of the place. however, i knew i had to come back as it's here that i truly belong, in the arms of my dearest one, en.
anyway, on da first day after dinner, i got the shock of my life. the water that we were supposed to drink was so dirty. we got it from the river and as it had been raining, there were many sediments. when we looked at the water in the pots that we we supposed to boil for consumption, i nearly puked. we had to filter the water before boiling. the cloth that we used turned brown. we used purification tablets too. i felt so lucky that i could just drink water from the tap in s'pore. besides, electricity there was limited too. lights only came on at 6.30pm and off it goes at 11pm sharp. we dun have a fridge there. sometimes, we should really feel lucky to be singaporeans.
there are too many things that happened during the trip and i dun think i can type out everything. all i wanna say is that i had a fruitful trip. i've learnt many things there. i learnt how to cook, wash my own clothes, paint, scrape paint, document plants and many more. my team mates were a great bunch and the 3 teachers that went with us were just fabulous. i think we have done a fantastic job there and we've finished our important tasks on da first week. went town to shop, to the wildlife rehab centre to watch orang utans in their natural habitat, sarawak cultural village and to the sarawak biodiversity centre. sometimes, life sciences really amaze me.
i am glad that i understand a lil' malay and know enough to speak to communicate with the kids there. being able to have this ability, i'm able to understand what the kids are talking most of the times. the kids there are adorable and their traditional knowledge is simply profound. i love hanging out with the kids.
the memory of the last night and day would always be vividly in my mind. on the last night, we had a big celebration and in a token of appreciation of us being there, they gave us each a handmade vase. we learnt their cultural dance and bamboo dancing. we prepared food for each other and on that day, some of us and that includes me were given a lucky charm each by one of da girls there. the next moring, we were scheduled to leave at 8am and most of the village kids came to send us off. i was given a necklace and a bracelet by 2 of the other girls. they were so sweet. at that point, i felt that i was really attached to the kids there. when we were abt to leave, they actually cried. my god.. i thought i wouldn't cry but just as the bus pulled away from the village, my tears just kept flowing.
guess that's all i have to say abt the trip. i'll add on if i have the time to. =)
now, let me talk abt what happened to me since i came back to s'pore. on da 19th my dear came to find me at the airport but she didn't call me so i went back with my parents then she came my house to find me. at first, i was kinda scared cause i didn't see her for 2 weeks and i wonder how it would be like. but the moment i saw her, i couldn't help but embrace her. she never fails to take my breath away. i knew that our love had deepen over the past 2 weeks. thanks for keeping my trust dearie, i'm so proud of ya! we went town to eat then met up with her friends. they played pool then we went down to monks but did nothing there. saw sylvia. i had to be back by 12am and my darling accompanied me home without complaining at all. heez. so touched. i sneaked out later to have supper with her as we were both hungry. went to a 24hr prata shop near my house at yio chu kang road there. later she walked me home and i managed to pursuade her to stay over at my house. really glad to have her company thru the night. thanks darling!!
on da 20th, our 4th month, we left my house quite late around 2+pm. walked to serangoon gardens in da rain for lunch then went to her house. didn't do much. slack day. heez. went home around 11+pm.
yest, 21st, i stayed at home and did finish the stuff that i wanna give my dar. went over her house in the late afternoon then had to go back for dinner with my parents. bought friendship bands for my friends in sarawak. i wanna send them new year cards. went to serangoon country club for dinner with my family. had fish and chips cause pepper steak wasn't available. had ice cream after that. yum. then went home, called my dear and slept.
today, i washed my toilet before going out to meet en. had lunch at lucky plaza then went to play pool while. after that went to meet carol and krist at far east. saw joyce and her bf. haha. at heeren, i bought a top then while waiting for carol and krist to buy their clothes, saw jerrine and her dear looking at us. hmmm.. it was a comical sight. we were communicating thru hand actions cause we were on different floors. saw many funny actions and things coming out. heh heh. later met shawn a while then we proceeded home. really couldn't bear to leave her. damn. stayed at the mrt station not knowing how many trains came and go before she decided to board. heez. then i finally went home. had to be home for dinner. tmr, it'd be major shopping day!! yeah. going out with joyce and jas. hopefully, i can buy the things that i fancy.
heez, i know this is a long entry.. so happy reading!! i'm outta here!!!
[ I miss you.. ]
at 8:57 PM
Saturday, December 06, 2003
Sigh.. i'm dreading this in a way. tmr i'll be flying off to sarawak. won't be in s'pore for 2 whole damn weeks. will miss my en so much. dunno how will it be like without her! arRrgHhhh. renouncing material life for 2 weeks too. this trip will be a whole learning experience for me. hope it just won't be an utter disappointment or i'll kill myself for going. i am really tired. the bball intensive training camp drained out almost all of my energy! haha. just exaggerating. think it was alright. didn't stay at all. spent the nights at en's place. had testimonial match on wed. i fell. bleah. pain man. but falling down is quite a norm when playing aggressive sports. anyway, today i had to go sch for a final check of logistics and stuff for sarawak then accompanied en to outram. had lunch and it's bball again!! haha. met up with her bros to play bball. really drenched in pespiration at the end of da day. it's nearer to tmr.. i'm scared. what if something unfortunate happens when i'm away.. it won't right? god bless me, my darling and all my dear friends and family. ppl, miss me ya? heh heh.
Darling, please take good care of yaself. know that you'll be in my thoughts the whole time. i love you.. *muacks*
[ I miss you.. ]
at 3:04 AM
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
yOo hOo peeps!! think this might be the last or second last time that i'll blog before leaving for sarawak. woke up real early to wash my toilet and to pack my back for intesive training bball camp. bleah. will be dead tired at the end of da day. then got ready some stuff for sarawak. had my breakfast of instant noodles and chee kuay. haha. going to sch soon. think i'll be late!! heez. wonder what the day stores for me. have a class bbq tonight and one sec sch one on fri. so many activities yet so lil' time. will miss my dear like crazy. luckily yest we had a great time together!! went ji ji ma ma shop at cinne. yuki yaki. went there with my darling, irene, carol and xiao rong. so fun. i ate 2 bowls of beansprouts!! i love 'em! shiitake mushroom done by my dear, meat and some cooked food!! mamamia!! muahahaha!! ate till i was so full!! had corn too!! hehe. my meatballs dropped on da floor and i thought it was hilarious! i just erupted into my horrendous laughter once again. saw lingli and her darling also. had a wonderful time!! the best part was the DIY ice cream. that's so so cool!! anyway, after that accompanied my dear to BBDC then waited for her to end. went home together after that and met dex to pass him the photos! in conclusion, i just had a wonderful time! teasing and laughing at each other gives me a heart-warming feeling. heez. i love you so much.. gonna shoo to sch soon! take care peeps!! =)
[ I miss you.. ]
at 6:40 AM
Monday, December 01, 2003
seeing my friends blogging so faithully, i shall blog too!! heez. anyway yest i went yishun camp to buy my stuff for my sarawak cip trip. my dar was so nice to have come all da way down to yishun to accompany me!! muacks! i was feeling really down too at that time. then after that i ate non-stop!! haha. met up with my parents for dindin. had good food!! but think i'm getting fat! darn. early in the morn today, i had a big blow! thank god is over. anyway went out with my parents cause i needed to go pick up a complimentary pass for the california fitness gym in town. had pasta n pizza for lunch before proceeding down to my dar's house. hehe. now quite hungry cause didn't have din. should i cook mee? but i'm quite lazy.. think i'll go call my dar soon. good night to this world of malice. blah.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 12:24 AM
