Tuesday, August 31, 2004
The weekend was fun. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Thanks for being there guys. It's been so long ever since I enjoyed myself this much. I wish my previous weekend would be repeated week after week. I wanna go to marine parade again. To see dogs in that pet shop and buy one together. What is the truth? I want to know. Human beings are hypocrite. They say one thing but mean another actually. Then it hurts when the truth comes to light. Bitterness and hatred will fill one's heart. That would be really sad. This world needs love. But WHERE IS THE LOVE? Why do it when you know that there would be no outcome? Why hurt me? Why? Tell me. I need to know what is going through your mind. I really want to know.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 11:55 PM
Sunday, August 29, 2004
She will be loved - Maroon 5
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
[ I miss you.. ]
at 2:34 AM
Emotions are hard to control. It is indeed hard to fight your emotions and they take over your mind at times when you do something that you'll regret later. I am a very emotional person and my emotions do get over me a lot of times. That's why I get hurt easily. I am a sesitive person too, maybe too sensitive. Have tried to control it and I think it's getting better. I hope. But before doing anything, I always think about the external factors especially the consequences. I will question myself and the other party involved whether is this what we want before doing anything. I do put myself in the shoes of other people and think about their feelings too. Guan Hong told me that "couples in relationship should fight with the external factors instead of getting into a fight between them." This is true. Well, things happening between a couple may not be what we see on the surface. They may seem sweet and loving but they are actually having a lot of problems with one another. As outsiders, we do not know what is the real story so we tend to see things in a different light. When advice is given to us, we will usually hear the things that we do not want to hear. That is because we see things a different way from the outsider's point of view as we are the ones involved. Life is complicating. Human emotions are complex. What is the real reason of our existence? Study freaking hard so that we have a good future? Then work our asses off? Marry and have children? Slog at home and get bullied by our children? Then enjoy in our old age? But when we grow old, there are so many exciting things that we cannot do anymore! Seems like our youth is being wasted on our studies. But what can we do?
EDUCATION is a necessity in our lifes! Damn.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 2:00 AM
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Mdm Chan gave us a lollipop today and as I was sucking it just now, the whole lolli came off the stick! Now I feel like there's a ball in my mouth! Muahaha. Lit play today. When I said "I am Othello." Everybody started laughing. Is it that funny? Or do I have a comical face? Ha. It went well, in fact, it was great! My group did a great job. Love ya all! Muacks! Almost everyone was laughing. We didn't expect it to be so funny though. Hope everyone enjoyed our performance! I'd love to do this with my group again. It's really fun and an opportunity of a lifetime to be in a play in school. Cause I'll be graduating soon. I was quite embarrassed cause my dressing seem so out of place. It's supposed to be some American High school setting in which I am supposed to be like a jock. Haha. The best compliment came from Mr Spencer. He was actuually impressed by me! That really made my day. Thanks Mr Spencer. A few people said my acting was not too bad. Thanks thanks!! I am on cloud nine. WoohOo!! =)
[ I miss you.. ]
at 10:41 PM
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Do things turn sour after having a break up? It does for a while if there are other factors involved. Maybe, if it's a mutual one then things may not be so bad. Things can be salvaged though after giving one another time and space. I have gone through that before and it was painful. Insults were thrown at each other but eventually, everything turned out pretty fine I would say. Perhaps the saying is true. "Time heals all wounds."
[ I miss you.. ]
at 10:39 AM
Fuck off. Stop acting in front of me when your true colours are exposed right in my face. I hate you. Big time bastard. Bloody asshole. Big fat jerk. Ha. But I won't let it affect me. Not a single bit. I'll be much stronger than before.
I am really happy now. Although it's wrong, but I cannot help it. I cannot help but sink deeper into it. God forgive me. It's been a long time yet it's still there and whatever I feel is reciprocated. How should I react to it? I want to respond yet it's wrong. I want to hold back but it's bursting. Why did you make that decision then? Damn. My life is so right yet so damn bloody wrong.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 9:44 AM
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
The sky is indeed the ultimate one... as even the wind itself has to abide by its rule. The wind is weak now and even himself don't know why. As you have said, life itself is indeed unpredictable. Don't let any other factors influence the way you lead your life, its your own, others have no say in it.
This may be crap and you may delete this entry if you want to... cause i really can't do anything right now. I am confused, I am tired. A weak guy i am... let me be myself...
[ I miss you.. ]
at 4:39 PM
Sunday, August 22, 2004
LEAVE ME ALONE.
I know what am I doing. I have the right to make any decisions I want to make. I hate it when people tell me what to do. Please fuck off and quit telling me what to do. Sorry, I am very pissed now. I'm not in a good mood today. I feel damn lousy.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 11:02 PM
There was a girl who wanted to grow up. Now, she wish she was still a little kid with no worries. Reality stinks. It really does.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 10:50 PM
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
You just left without a trace again leaving me wondering where you are.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 11:21 PM
I love JASSEY and JOYCEY babeYs!!! Yeah. Thanks for putting up with my and my pms-ing. I'm feeling dizzy now. Am I getting a fever soon?
[ I miss you.. ]
at 10:21 PM
Monday, August 16, 2004
Life is such a routine. It's boring especially when my As is oh so near! I am getting so tired everyday and I have no energy to do my homework. I can't get anything done at home! I'll be sleeping yet I'm too lazy to go down to my club. Damn. I need a motivator. HAHA. Oh well. Who knows? I might be suffering from some terminal diesease or something and my life is coming to an end soon? If not, why am I always feeling so lethargic? I should go for a full body check up soon. I feel like a glutton. I have been eating non-stop. Jeremy Heng used to say that I eat 24 hours non-stop. Am I that bad? I love to eat cause I feel that we live to eat, not eat to live. There's so much glorious food in this world for us to savour!! Why torture yourself and go on a diet? You'll be missing out so much if you're dieting! I ate alot today. The boy thinks I eat alot. Haha. Sometimes, I just have a craving for something so I have to satisfy it. I don't want to keep thinking about it and regret not eating it. I'll go mad. Then, I won't be able to think of any other things except on why didn't I eat that when I could eat it just now. Heh. I'm a greedy pig. But I don't care! I'll make the boy eat with me! I hope he does. He needs some fattening up! We went to the polyclinic and he forgot to bring his memo so he couldn't take out his stitches today! Haha! Silly boy..
Wanted to catch the fireworks yesterday with Joyce but we missed it. I feel so bad. I thought it would start at 8.30pm cause it started at 8.30pm the previous week. I was wrong. It started at 8pm. So I'm the one who caused us to miss the fireworks. There's always next year! Sorry Joyce darling.. We had a casual chat too. It's been a long time since I've done that with somebody. I miss the times with Janice and Udelia. I want to chat with them till the wee hours. Did chat with Janice not too long cause she came over to borrow shorts from me. I love her so much. She's such a darling to me.
I bought Sloman. I need to get down to work and study!!! Will do some work after sleeping. Off I go. Ciao. Good night world.
I miss the boy
Never will I take him as a toy
He's just too dear
And never will I make him shed a tear
[ I miss you.. ]
at 11:39 PM
Saturday, August 14, 2004
My two darlings has plans tonight but not me. Joyce is attending her aunt's wedding anniversary and Jas has a bbq. I'm bored and stuck with lotsa homework. Damn. Besides, the boy is busy too. Oh well, it's just me myself and Eveleen. Ha. My grandparents are going out for dinner. So I'm all alone at home. But I might be going out soon. For a little while.
Generally, I don't understand human beings. When they have something, they want something else. Yet, when the thing is gone, they want it back. Weird. For our saturday tests, we were complaining that the lecture theatre was too cold for us and we wanted the hall. When we had the hall today, we were complaining that it's too hot. Contradicting isn't it? That's human nature. I would love to explore about the human nature. It's probing and makes me wonder why is it so complicated. I want to find out one day. Study on why do human beings have these kind of thinkings.
I shall meet the boy now. Off I go. Goodbye.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 5:40 PM
The wind has now be tamed
And forever it shall be
Mistakes we comitted had been forgiven
And lessons were learnt in the process
We shall hold on strongly to what we have now
And cherish the times spent together for the past, present and future
A long journey we had travelled
Through the endless sky we met
And now we shall go forth together
In search of that blessed piece of land
The land that belongs to our dreams
[ I miss you.. ]
at 1:43 AM
And that was from the wind. I didn't blog the previous entry. So sweet of him. I fell asleep just now and I can't get him now. Oh well, was too tired. Have been feeling really tired these few days.
What you wrote was definitely not crap! It is the nicest thing that someone ever wrote for me. Thanks. It put a smile on my face.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 12:21 AM
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Thanks for trusting me.
I'm thankful for that.
I wish all will be well.
That our stage of turbulence has passed.
I am waiting for the day
To be at the land that belongs to our dreams.
Everything is in the past now.
We cannot changed what has happened.
I won't force you to accept it.
If you do, I'm truly glad.
If you don't, it's fine with me.
But from what I know,
You're willing to take the risk for me.
And that's deeply appreciated by me.
Just hope our future will be a wonderful one...
[ I miss you.. ]
at 9:48 PM
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
I've fallen again. But there was someone who caught my fall this time. He gave me another chance to fly. I'm sorry for what I've done. I've hurt you so much yet you forgave me. Thank you..
[ I miss you.. ]
at 12:01 PM
Saturday, August 07, 2004
You are a fresh strawberry pie. You are a caring
person who loves to have fun. you have a wild
side to you, and tend to be on the more liberal
side
[ I miss you.. ]
at 12:38 AM
Friday, August 06, 2004
People tend to lose directions at some point in their life. Sometimes, you don't know where your life leads you to. There may be times when you are totally lost, wondering if you've made the correct decision about everything you have done. Surely, there will be regrets. When you regret something, you know that you will not commit that mistake again and that's when you learn. Don't be paranoid, don't think so much. If you let your imagination run, especially about unplesant things, it would only spell disaster. Tell me whatever you're feeling, don't supress it. It's really no good.
Blow me away
To some place faraway
A place you wouldn't leave
So that we can live..
[ I miss you.. ]
at 10:42 PM
National day cum college day celebrations today!! The concert in the hall wasn't exactly fun as no one wanted to be as crazy as me. I was like the only one that wanted to sing and scream. I love Joyce's poem. Admire her for her writing skills. That was the best part of the celebrations in the hall. After that, we needed to walk around school as the teachers set up a mini bazaar. Bought cha ye dan and wadeh. Yum. Bought a notebook, musical jewellery box, fan and photo frame. Mr Sim, you cheated me of my money!!! The starting bid was $2 for that musical box but you charged me $8 for it!! And the mirror came off!! It's unfair. Well, since it's for a good cause and the proceeds will proceed to charity, I shall be kind and magnanimous and forgive you. Went off around 12pm for lunch and we went to the country club to study again. Studied till 7pm then he had to leave and I went to meet En they all for dinner. That's all for today.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 9:02 PM
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
The place we were studying is named Serangoon Gardens Country Club. Haha. I love the study room there. We should go there more often and study. Cause I think we really did our work today though I didn't do alot! That's quite a good start for me. Must yi qi jia you to get good results!! Peeps, study hard!
Every night when I'm alone
I feel the wind
And then I dream
That's when I know I'm not alone
[ I miss you.. ]
at 11:33 PM
EVERYTIME
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
Everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
[ I miss you.. ]
at 10:18 PM
This world is here for you to discover and find out new things. You'll never know what will happen next so make sure you cherish the people and things around you espcially those that you love. Learn from mistakes and make sure that the mistakes are not committed again. I miss my friends so much. Those that I haven't seen in a long time especially Udelia, Janice, Ting and Bin. I miss them!!
I wanna fly, soar in the sky, with you up high...
Spread out my wings and venture the new horizon with you.
Break through the barriers that I never got through.
Will you go through an ardous journey with me named life?
I flew and I fell with no one to catch me.
Wings broken, tattered and torn.
But it's my fault that I fell.
Is that true?
The past shall go and the present will come.
I'll embrace it with my new found strength.
The inner strength built up is ready to be released.
I shall let it go...
Wind, Thanks for being there for me. You're my guardian angel. =)
You said it was my fault so I shall apologise here. I'm sorry Zu En, I really am.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 6:17 PM
Did I tell you peeps how much I love ballerina pictures? I absolutely love them. When I saw the preview for my new skin, I fell in love with this one immediately. It has a ballerina picture and my favourite song. Everytime. Words cannot describe how much I love this blogskin. I have this new skin all thanks to one special person. Thank you.. I feel so dreamy and high whenever I see my blog.. As if I'm floating on cloud nine and the wind blowing me to wherever I wanna go... I think I'm blogging more now cause of my new skin. =)
[ I miss you.. ]
at 6:17 PM
I love my new blog. Thanks to wInD who made it so nice. Thanks a million! I really like it... Heez. That's the good thing.
But I'm sad. I'm hurt. I didn't know that everyone thinks it's my fault. I guess nobody understood the pain that I went through. Fuck. I'm pissed too. Why don't anybody understand me at all? Why? It's so unfair. 7 months of pain. Why is it my fault? It takes 2 hand to clap. I'm shattered. I didn't know.. I really didn't know.. I am so confused, I am really hurt...
[ I miss you.. ]
at 3:20 PM
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
I blogged but my whole entry was gone. Stupid blogger. Anyway, it's Gerri's birthday! So...
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Geraldine, happy birthday to you! I love ya girl and I hope you'll see this.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 4:02 PM
Monday, August 02, 2004
I am glad you have sorted out your thoughts. Thank you. I hope that you'll be happy too. Smile always!
[ I miss you.. ]
at 2:54 PM
I need to study hard. I need to study hard. I need to study hard!!! I failed my math test. Oh man. I have to buck up. Put away all the unhappy thoughts and live a happier life. Right now, I need to concentrate on getting my desired grades. I have to complete my essays. I'll be getting a new blogskin soon, I think. Heh heh. I'm waiting... I wanna go out my my two girlies this sat night! It's been a long long time since I went out with them..
[ I miss you.. ]
at 12:58 PM
Sunday, August 01, 2004
Human beings are selfish creatures. They never realise the importance of something until it's gone. Ignorant fools. Why cause yourself to land up in this state when it can be prevented? What's the word "appreciate" for? Please realise your mistake and change for the better for yourself but not for me. I'm really hurt by what you've done to me. I'll never forget what happened on friday, 30/7/04. I feel that I deserve better.
[ I miss you.. ]
at 2:33 AM
